The Comprehensive Guide to Understanding, Regulating, and Enjoying Your Child
Smart Love is a caring and patient approach to parenting created and tested by the husband-and-wife team of Dr. Martha Heineman Pieper and Dr. William J. Pieper. It replaces the old rewards-and-punishments style of parenting parenting as behavior modification which turns parents into disciplinarians, which they don t want to be, and which treats children as miniature adults, which they aren t. Smart Love enables parents to understand the world through the eyes of their child at each stage of development. To Smart Love is to cultivate children s inner happiness while managing their behavior in age-appropriate ways, which ensures that children will grow up well behaved, responsible, self-confident, and able to reach their full potentials.
About the author:
Martha Heineman Pieper, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist who works with children and parents, and serves as a consultant to agencies and other mental health professionals.
And Martha's husband and partner in the development of this book:
William J Pieper, M.D. is a child psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who also works with children and parents and also consults with other health professionals.
Martha and William have a great website with more info and resources...
From the site:
What is Smart Love?
Smart Love is a kind and effective approach to parenting that is based on the latest knowledge of what a child's mind is like at birth and how it develops through childhood.
Smart Love shows parents that they don't have to choose between hard discipline and soft permissiveness to guide their children's behavior. There is a compassionate middle ground called loving regulation that enables parents to help their children learn to regulate.
Smart Love is an excellent book for parents and caregivers. It gives good guidelines on how to raise your child according to the stages of development kids go through.
Expecting your little one, or teen, to function beyond what they are mentally, emotionally, and physically is just unfair. And it can lead to problems for your child well into adulthood.
Sometimes we expect too much of our kids because OTHER people do not understand the stage of development you know your kids are at.
For reassuring guidelines on the stages...
I found this book in the fabulous Penticton second hand book store. I was on the hunt for good resources for parents with challenging kids.
As a parent of three kids myself, and as a teacher for many years, I have a good eye for resources that are useable, sensible, and inspiring...
Besides the description of the importance of stages of development, this book presented an essential thought...that children love their parents and think that everything parents do is for their benefit, and must be out of love, whether it is good parenting. or not.
So, if a parent is critical of a child, the child takes that on and fulfills the parent's opinion by manifesting the undesirable qualities to make the parent "right" AND becomes self critical. To please the parent...
From their site:
Their most important finding is we are all born to love whatever care we receive and to want more of it. Because children learn to treat themselves and others as they are treated. Smart Love guidelines for managing behaviour and nurturing children are always compassionate and kind rather than authoritarian.
A cautionary tale...with solutions.
If I could I would out it on the shelf of every parent.